Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Counselling in Bayside

Many adults carry the effects of childhood experiences they rarely speak about.

You may have grown up in a home that looked “fine” from the outside, yet felt unpredictable, unsafe, emotionally absent, or overwhelming. Or you may know clearly that your childhood involved hardship, neglect, or trauma — but struggle to understand why it still affects you today.

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) refer to stressful or traumatic experiences in childhood that can shape how we relate, cope, and feel as adults.

What are Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)?

ACEs include experiences such as:

emotional, physical, or sexual abuse
emotional or physical neglect
exposure to family conflict, violence, or instability
parental mental illness, substance use, or absence
chronic criticism, fear, or lack of emotional safety
growing up feeling unseen, unheard, or responsible for others

Not all difficult childhoods involve obvious trauma. Ongoing emotional disconnection or unpredictability can be just as impactful.

How difficult childhoods can show up in adulthood

Many adults are surprised to learn that current struggles may be connected to early experiences — not because something is “wrong” with them, but because their nervous system adapted to survive.

Common adult patterns linked to ACEs include:

chronic anxiety, hypervigilance, or emotional shutdown
difficulty trusting others or feeling safe in relationships
people-pleasing, perfectionism, or fear of conflict
intense self-criticism or shame
difficulty identifying needs or emotions
burnout, exhaustion, or feeling “on edge”
a sense of being responsible for others’ feelings
feeling disconnected from self, body, or identity

These patterns often developed as intelligent, protective responses in childhood.

“Nothing terrible happened, so why do I feel this way?”

Many adults minimise their experiences because:

their basic needs were met
others “had it worse”
there was no single dramatic event

But the absence of emotional safety, attunement, or consistency can still shape the nervous system. Trauma is not defined by what should have hurt — but by how the body and mind responded at the time.

If you learned early on to stay quiet, be helpful, stay alert, or suppress your needs, those strategies may still be operating now — even when they no longer serve you.

How counselling can help

Counselling offers a space to gently explore the link between past experiences and present-day patterns — without blame, judgement, or pressure to revisit memories before you’re ready.

Together, we can:

understand how your nervous system learned to cope
recognise protective patterns with compassion
reduce shame and self-criticism
build emotional safety and regulation
explore boundaries, needs, and self-trust
develop new ways of relating to yourself and others

This work is paced carefully and grounded in safety. You remain in control of what you share and when.

My approach

I work in a way that is:

trauma-aware and client-centred
grounded in nervous system understanding
respectful of your pace and boundaries
affirming of neurodivergent and LGBTQIA+ experiences if relevant

We focus on understanding rather than reliving the past, and on building stability in the present.

Who this support may be helpful for

This work may resonate if you:

had to grow up quickly
felt emotionally unseen or unsafe as a child
learned to prioritise others’ needs over your own
struggle with closeness or trust
feel stuck in patterns you don’t fully understand
sense that your past still lives in your body or reactions

You don’t need to label your experiences as “trauma” to benefit from counselling.

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Counselling Frequently Asked Questions

ACEs are stressful or traumatic experiences in childhood, including emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, neglect, exposure to family conflict or instability, parental mental illness or substance use, and feeling unseen or responsible for others. These experiences can shape coping patterns and nervous system responses in adulthood.
Many adults carry patterns from childhood, such as chronic anxiety, hypervigilance, emotional shutdown, perfectionism, people-pleasing, self-criticism, difficulty trusting others, burnout, or feeling disconnected from themselves. These patterns often developed as adaptive responses to survive early environments.
No. Even if your childhood appeared “fine” on the outside, ongoing emotional disconnection, unpredictability, or lack of attunement can have lasting impacts. ACE counselling supports understanding how early experiences influence present-day challenges, regardless of visible trauma.
Counselling helps you:
- Understand how your nervous system learned to cope
- Recognise protective patterns with compassion
- Reduce shame and self-criticism
- Build emotional safety and regulation
- Explore boundaries, needs, and self-trust
- Develop healthier ways of relating to yourself and others
This work is paced to your capacity and grounded in safety.
No. ACE counselling focuses on understanding how early experiences shaped your present patterns rather than reliving or re-experiencing past events. You remain in control of what you share and when.
Adults who grew up feeling emotionally unsafe, had to “grow up quickly,” prioritised others’ needs over their own, struggle with trust or closeness, or notice persistent patterns from childhood may benefit. You do not need to label your experiences as trauma to access support.
Sessions provide a confidential, calm, and supportive environment. The counsellor works in a trauma-aware, client-centred way, respecting your pace, boundaries, and nervous system needs. The first session is an opportunity to explore what feels relevant now, without pressure to share more than you’re ready for.
Yes. ACE counselling is available in-person in Bayside, Melbourne, and online. The approach is flexible, supportive, and tailored to your capacity, making it accessible and safe for adults seeking to understand and heal patterns linked to childhood experiences.